In the Summertime, when the weather is hot

I live in Virginia. It's hot as shit. 

Two people have told me the most extreme sunburn they ever got was when they visited Virginia. 

I have a friend who moved to Florida from VA, and he says its nowhere near as hot there as it is here. 

I love the sunshine, tan lines, flip flops, and perfectly painted toenails. 

I hate sweat. 

The other day my sister and I went out for a girls day. We went to the nail salon, got frozen yogurt, and went shopping. I was wearing a tank top and denim shorts. By the time we got to the first store, I had to buy new shorts because mine were soaking wet with sweat. I bought a pair of thin khaki colored linen shorts. BIG mistake. Less than an hour later, I had wet marks from where the creases in between my thighs and pelvic area were sweating so bad. 

Yesterday, with another 100 degree day, I decided to wear a thin sleeved tshirt instead of a tank top. I left the house for about 30 mins and had sweat marks on the shirt near the small of my back. 

I'm not sure if anyone else realizes this, but sweat marks are nofuckingwhere near sexy. 

My hair. I have beautiful soft curls...in the winter. In the summer? I have a huge poof envied by non other than Ms. Peggy Bundy herself. Thats why I love ponytail holders. I can throw my hair into a messy bun and go! 

I could always straighten it...but then I sweat and it curls up...so im back to the messy bun. 

Its hard to look sexy with itchy, watery eyes, sweat stains and wind-blown hair, but at least my toenails will always look good.