Sunday, May 8, 2011

The perfect end to a perfect night

Today is mother's day. Wanna know how I woke up my mom? I called her at 7:15am to tell her I was stuck at work because her car wouldn't start.

Let me back up a few hours.

Yesterday I was exhausted. I came home from work and sat around for a while. Around 10am I went to sleep. A few hours later I woke up and saw I was signed into yahoo on my cell phone. Of course I missed a message from one of the most awesome people in the world. I messaged back and fell back to sleep. Maybe two hours later I woke up to another message. I replied, and passed out again. Fuck. I woke up again and replied to a 3rd message...This time I got an immediate response saying, "hey i just woke up. I'm going back to bed now." Son of a bitch. Of course that puts me in a shitty mood, and I go back to sleep.

Fast forward to 11:13pm...the very minute I should be leaving for work. The minute I should be leaving, I'm just putting on my work pants. SHIT. Had to rush around like crazy while still half asleep, race to work with no time to stop for gas and try to wake the fuck up.

A typical Saturday night at my job is insane. It's no big deal to have to call the police...actually, its expected. There are drunken idiots yelling, laughing, throwing trash everywhere, stumbling, and even literally screaming for no reason. On a Saturday night, we need a minimum of 5 workers. Last night we had 3. THREE. I don't expect anyone to understand, unless you work with me, but this is FUCKING RIDICULOUS! Very busy, stressful, and draining.

We somehow pull a miracle out of our asses and have the store looking amazing. At 7:03am I skip to the car, insanely excited to go home and rest. Turn the key in the ignition and "grumble grumble *click*" Dude...what the fuck. Try it again. *click* hmm...ok try a few more times...*CLICK CLICK motherfucking CLICK*

Hmm...maybe I'm out of gas...

One of my awesome managers buys me a gas can so I can try that. Neither of us dumb broads can figure out how it works. We have to take it back inside to another manager. Fuck. We finally get gas in the car...try it again. *CLICK* I swear the car actually said, "LOL fuck you."

My brain is running a thousand miles a minute saying things like, "Is it the starter? Why wont it start?!? Don't cry...who can you call? stop trying to cry dumbass. DO NOT throw anything at it. Call mama! Yes that's a good idea!" I call my mother and tell her the good news. Her response? "Why wont it start? FUCK! Well.I don't know what to tell you" Yeah, so I forget to say Happy Mothers Day.

I finally convince a brand new coworker, that I've never spoken to, to come outside and try to jump start my car. Thank God that works!

I get home, after about a 45 minute ordeal over the whole "car not starting I'm stuck at work after one of the worst nights" thing, and the first thing my mother says is, "Don't you have something to say to me?"

Way to make mother's day all about you mom.

Me and Mommy 

1 comment:

  1. What does she think this day is, Mother's Day or something...j Lisa