Thursday, May 5, 2011

All right Mr. De Mille, I'm ready for my close-up

I have like a million pictures on Facebook, and barely any of them are first take photos. I hate candid pictures. If  I pose for one, I have to approve it...if it's not up to my standards, we will pose again and re-take until I am satisfied.

I am vain.


 I am in love with myself.

I accept it.

I'm not perfect...but I'm pretty damn near close. I blame my sudden ego inflation on males. Lately, I've been getting hit on a lot, asked out a lot, and propositioned for sex a lot. I'm not exactly proud of the latter of course. None of these guys have a cake's chance at a Weight Watchers convention. (The previous statement is the opinion of me, the author of this amazing blog and in no way endorses weight loss programs of any kind.  Everyone should be fat and happy)

Don't get me wrong. Its wonderful to have the attention of so many guys in light of my recent heartbreak. One in particular.

I've recently reconnected with a guy I knew years ago. We haven't spoken to, or seen each other in nearly 3 years, and now its like we cant get enough of each other (well I can't get enough of him...but I'm not creepy or anything ya know...). I know what you are thinking, "How adorable! Its like a fairy tale!" Wrong. He is nearly 7000 miles away. Did I ever mention I have shitty luck?

I can't say anything will develop between us. If it does, that's amazing. If not, life goes on.

Reconnecting with him really makes me happy. People have asked me why I'm so happy lately. I smile when I think of him. Stupid things make me think of him. Jagerbombs...kittens...T-Mobile...and especially bacon. I smile...a lot...(I encounter these things a lot)

I am gorgeous when I smile. I can post pictures after the first take.

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