I usually keep a clear head in an emergency situation. When I was woken out of a dead sleep by an earthquake in Virginia, my brother was literally running around screaming. I calmly sat up in bed and told him it was an earthquake and to sit and calm down. When my sister's boyfriend came over drunk and throwing things around, I calmly called the police to have him removed from the property. I stay relaxed at work when I have a confrontation with a customer or four. The one time I panicked I had to walk to a job interview and everyone on the main thoroughfare saw my underwear.
We used to have a crappy Ford Escort. In the few years we had it, we put more money into repairs than we paid to buy it. Eventually we had to have a kill switch installed. It was literally a light switch that cut off all power to the car by disconnecting the battery. The mechanics told us to never hit the kill switch before turning off the ignition or it would completely fuck up the battery and it may blow up. He probably didn't say those exact words to my mother, but that's how she explained it to me.
The summer of 2009 I had been out of a job for about 10 months. I was going crazy sitting around the house all day and night. Hell my sister was paying my cell phone bill because we were on the same plan. I lost my job a month after we started the contract, so she was stuck footing the bill. When I finally landed a job interview at an insurance company I was ecstatic.
The day of the interview I was dressed in a nice flowy plaid printed dress and wedges. I looked very professional and was super confident that I was going to rock the interview. I took my mom to work and headed to the interview.
I traveled down the road through all the massive corporate building searching for the one I was supposed to go to. After about fifteen minutes of searching I couldn't for the life of me find it, so I pulled into a parking lot and called the interviewer to find the exact location.
I pulled into a parking spot and flipped the kill switch. Then I turned off the ignition. I panicked when I realized I flipped the switch first. I tried over and over and over to start the car and there was no noise whatsoever. No click, no door buzzing, no lights...nothing. I called the police using the non emergency number to see if an officer could come and give me a jump, but the dispatcher said police don't carry jumper cables and I'd have to call a tow truck. I started crying because I didn't have any money at all, much less enough to pay a tow truck for a jump.
I called the interviewer and told him that my car broke down and I wasn't sure I was going to make it to the interview and he suggested I walk because I was right across the fucking street from the office building. Fuck. So I just ruined the car, got stranded in some office park, and can't pick up my mom from work for no fucking reason because I stopped across the street from the office to ask directions to the office. Fucking wonderful.
I decided there was nothing I could do so I might as well walk to the interview. Remember that killer dress and wedges I was wearing? They were awesome interview apparel, but not so much for walking. The shoes were a tad too big so they flopped when I walked. The dress was beautifully flowy, but it was a terrible decision for the windiest day in fucking history. Every gust of wind blew my dress straight up Marilyn Monroe style. No less than 20 businessmen and women saw my underwear.
I finally made it to the interview, drenched in sweat with a blister on the back of my heel and one on my toe. I got inside still thinking I'm going to rock the interview when I realize its a group interview. I almost turned around and left but I really needed a job so I decided I'd be better than everyone else and get the job.
The interview was a waste of time since it was a commission only job and there is no fucking way I'm willing to risk income on my own ability to be nice to people, so I walked back to the car trying to hold my dress down while crossing the busy street in shoes that are flopping off my feet.
I get there and call my boyfriend. He says he doesn't have any jumper cables but will use metal wires to create the spark. I sit there and keep trying to start the car over and over with no luck. Nothing will happen. My boyfriend calls back saying hes one his way and asks, "Did you flip the switch back up when you tried to start it?"
Oh for the love of God I am the dumbest bitch on the planet. I flip the switch, turn the key in the ignition and the car hums to life. I had spent the past two hours freaking the fuck out because I couldn't get the car to start...all because the battery wasn't connected because I didn't flip the kill switch to the "on" position.
What's the dumbest thing you ever did in a panic? Tell me in the comments!