I feel stuck

I have writer's block. I have no idea what to write about in this blog. I used to have a hard time narrowing it down...now I feel that my life is so boring I have nothing to talk about. I could tell yall about how I sprained my finger like 2 months ago while bowling (badly), or how I'm completely heartbroken.

I wish I could talk about how awesome my hair looks now that I dyed it blonde, but it actually looks darker now than it did before.

I could tell the story about how I almost shit on myself at Taco Bell one morning, but thats pretty gross.

I'm going to talk about what every 22 yr old woman likes to talk about...Guys.

Working the overnight shift, it's hard to have a social life, much less meet guys. I come across a lot of guys at work, and a lot of them hit on me....but 90% of the time they are drunk. I tried to live by the rule of not dating guys I meet at gas stations...Ive also failed miserably.

This past weekend I went on a date with a guy I met at work. He's a very attractive guy, but kind of shy and quiet. The exact opposite of me. We decided to meet up with Bestie and her boyfriend to go bowling.

While at the bowling alley, I wasn't exactly feeling the date...so I started drinking. I was drinking margaritas and Tequila Sunrises. Me and tequila aren't always a great mix. Me and drinking aren't always a great mix. I am a "hysterical drunk." If I drink a lot, I cry, and cry, and cry, and cry. I don't do it on purpose, that's just the kind of drunk I am.

Sometime during the night, they played the song "Foxy Lady" which made me do the little fox ear thing from "Wayne's World" and my date looked at me like I was an idiot. That was kinda my breaking point. If he doesn't get my obscure pop culture references, there is no way we could build a potential relationship. I knew he couldn't compare to the one I really wanted to be with.

Towards the end of the night, I sat at a table with Bestie and started bawling about how guilty I felt for being on a date when I was in love with someone else. She, being the great friend that she is, covered it up and made it look like she told me something funny and I was laughing tears.

At the end, it was getting to be a rough date and I didn't like the guy at all. We got into a tad bit of an argument I was REALLY not feeling it, and Bestie offered to drive me home. Thats how bad it got. I declined  so me and the guy could talk alone in the car, instead of around other people.

In the car, I broke down again. I was hysterically crying saying how I was being unfair to him by being on the date when I was in love with another guy blah blah blah lots of smudged make up, tears and generally looking like a fucking idiot. We sat in the parking lot of Denny's for about an hour while I drunkenly sobbed and sniffled.

To my surprise, he actually texted me the next day saying he had fun...for the most part. I think it's safe to say I was the worst date ever.

That is what happens when I go against my heart. I know that I shouldn't hold on to someone who has told me more than once to move on...but my heart won't let me.