Thursday, March 31, 2011

I feel stuck

I have writer's block. I have no idea what to write about in this blog. I used to have a hard time narrowing it I feel that my life is so boring I have nothing to talk about. I could tell yall about how I sprained my finger like 2 months ago while bowling (badly), or how I'm completely heartbroken.

I wish I could talk about how awesome my hair looks now that I dyed it blonde, but it actually looks darker now than it did before.

I could tell the story about how I almost shit on myself at Taco Bell one morning, but thats pretty gross.

I'm going to talk about what every 22 yr old woman likes to talk about...Guys.

Working the overnight shift, it's hard to have a social life, much less meet guys. I come across a lot of guys at work, and a lot of them hit on me....but 90% of the time they are drunk. I tried to live by the rule of not dating guys I meet at gas stations...Ive also failed miserably.

This past weekend I went on a date with a guy I met at work. He's a very attractive guy, but kind of shy and quiet. The exact opposite of me. We decided to meet up with Bestie and her boyfriend to go bowling.

While at the bowling alley, I wasn't exactly feeling the I started drinking. I was drinking margaritas and Tequila Sunrises. Me and tequila aren't always a great mix. Me and drinking aren't always a great mix. I am a "hysterical drunk." If I drink a lot, I cry, and cry, and cry, and cry. I don't do it on purpose, that's just the kind of drunk I am.

Sometime during the night, they played the song "Foxy Lady" which made me do the little fox ear thing from "Wayne's World" and my date looked at me like I was an idiot. That was kinda my breaking point. If he doesn't get my obscure pop culture references, there is no way we could build a potential relationship. I knew he couldn't compare to the one I really wanted to be with.

Towards the end of the night, I sat at a table with Bestie and started bawling about how guilty I felt for being on a date when I was in love with someone else. She, being the great friend that she is, covered it up and made it look like she told me something funny and I was laughing tears.

At the end, it was getting to be a rough date and I didn't like the guy at all. We got into a tad bit of an argument I was REALLY not feeling it, and Bestie offered to drive me home. Thats how bad it got. I declined  so me and the guy could talk alone in the car, instead of around other people.

In the car, I broke down again. I was hysterically crying saying how I was being unfair to him by being on the date when I was in love with another guy blah blah blah lots of smudged make up, tears and generally looking like a fucking idiot. We sat in the parking lot of Denny's for about an hour while I drunkenly sobbed and sniffled.

To my surprise, he actually texted me the next day saying he had fun...for the most part. I think it's safe to say I was the worst date ever.

That is what happens when I go against my heart. I know that I shouldn't hold on to someone who has told me more than once to move on...but my heart won't let me.


  1. I know exactly how you least you're out there trying..And sorry, this was funny. Poor guy. ......Lisa

  2. Some words of advice from a woman I knew I once posted on my Yahoo blog. Maybe they might help...

    *If you feel that's he's always holding something back, or that you're spending a lot of energy trying to change yourself into something you think will make him happier, then divorce yourself from him and move on.

    *It's very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less - even a vague, pathetic facsimile of less - than you would have ever imagined. Remember always what you set out to get, and please don't settle for less.

    *Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person that you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.

    *You can't talk your way out of a breakup. It is not up for discussion. A breakup is a definitive action, not a democratic one.

    *Break up sex still means you're broken up.


    *Don't give him the chance to reject you again.

    *If the person you "love" cannot freely spend his days thinking about you and being with you, it's not REAL love.

    *Try not to be 4 years into the relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.

    *You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time. (You have to be nice to them, too.)

    *You already have one asshole. You don't need another.